Saturday, October 10, 2015

Ninin's Faith Journey

This time our friend, Ninin, shared her faith journey ...

When people ask me how I became a Christian, my immediate response tend to be that I have always been a Christian.That is because I was born into a family whose members went to church regularly.
In Indonesia, my kind of family is said to be "Christian".

I was also always involved in "Christian" things like going to Sunday school, choir "ministry", giving offering, pray regularly, trying to love my teasing brother and so on.I didn't yet realize that doing things that characterize Christianity did not directly make me a Christian.

It was not until high school, through a personal devotion time, that God convicted me about my state of being. The Bible made it clear to me that I was a sinner despite my being a good girl and led a good life. I repented, admitted to God that I was sinful and needed His forgiveness, and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.

The year I became a Christian was the time my family started to be in great turmoil. My father was involved in extra-marital affairs, got into big debts, and culminated in him leaving the house. My mum, brother and I were left to our own, surviving day-to-day life, dealing with debt collectors, the scorn of our relatives, and the like. These circumstances occurred when I was going through high school. As a result, I went through my adolescence with feeling of inadequacy and low self esteem.
In hindsight, I am grateful that God had graced me with faith. Slowly but sure he molded and shaped me into Christ's likeness through all that happened. Those years were bad, but it could have been worse had God not upheld me. I matured more spiritually and emotionally through these trying times. Just this year, my father confessed to the family of his wrong doing. We are grateful for an answer to over two decades of prayers. We are still praying that his repentance is sincere and that God will fully reconcile our family again.

After my dad, later on in my 20's, I experienced another betrayal from a man. Few more broken hearts, and I am still navigating the complicated world of man-woman relationship. I often feel lost and confused that I believe comes from the lack of father figure in my life to show me of true manhood. Again, God is faithful throughout, revealing Himself to be my ultimate Father and man-figure.

In all this, I was led to find my calling in life (what others often call as life passion). Growing up, I was always interested in learning about the natural world. Being a scientist who is able to carry out research and knowing more how the world works was one of my childhood dreams. So, I studied biology in the hope of becoming just that. God gave me the opportunities to pursue advance studies in The Netherlands and later on in New Zealand. While I was developing my skills and expertise in science, I was also compelled to pass on what I had learned to others. I then joined with Teachers College in UPH as a lecturer. Those were rewarding times, not just for my personal faith but also the new family in Christ I met. What motivates me to do science is the knowledge that God of order has put order in the created world so that we can study and develop it. I often think myself as a reverse missionary because I am doing the mission in the former Christian countries.

My journey of faith is still on until my time on earth is finished. So far, life has never been the way I expect it, but looking back I can see how God produced what was best (Romans 8:28).
I am eternally grateful that I may come to know the grace of Jesus Christ!

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