Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Discipline : The Business of Christian Education LXVIII


1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4
           
24Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 13:24


            Paul’s instruction for children and parents follows the pattern of the Old Testament.  Since ancient time, education has been a very important part of the life of the family.  Education is natural to humans.  It is built in within our construct.  It is also commanded by our Creator.  It is designed effectively to bring up the next generation in the way that is proper and in accordance with the dignity human beings have been endowed with.  The fifth commandment clearly speaks of honoring the father and mother.  For those familiar with the Torah, this commandment won’t be a problem at all.  All covenant children are supposed to know and obey this commandment.  And if we look at all cultures in the world, we will find that every culture in the world has
in its Law, written or unwritten, the command to honor father and mother.  Such command is not foreign for humanity at all.  It is so close in our hearts and deeply rooted in the nature of human dignity since the beginning.  The position of the parents are arranged in such a way that children will always have the tendency to honor them.  The charisma of the parents toward their children is within the framework of intricate human relationship in the family.  Children, from early age, are drawn instinctively to their parents.  In their need of protection and care from their parents, they respectively have the tendency to honor their parents.  And so, the command and the construct of human growth and relationship are compatible.

What is interesting in Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 6 here is that prior to instructing parents, Paul puts emphasis on the fifth commandment and address the children to obey their parents as the extension of the command to honor father and mother.  This emphasis is put first by Paul to give the starting point for the next instruction.  Paul’s instruction for the fathers will not work well at all without the children’ obedience is in place.  Now, when Paul mentions fathers here, in no way he excludes mothers.  Father is the head of the family.  From him the command and instruction of the Lord are expected to flow as guidance for the proper way of life.  The order of the family is arranged by God in such a way that the father becomes the head, just as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23-24).  The command line to observe the Law must come from the father.  This responsibility falls on the shoulder of the father as the head of the family.  But this doesn’t mean that only father can teach the children.  The understanding is rather that the observance of the Law must be under the direction of the father.  This means that both the father and mother are charged with educating their children accordingly.  The more generic command to teach the children can be found in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 that says:

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The fathers are expected to be the guardian and the keeper of the Law of God in the family.  Fathers are the designated person from whom God demands accountability of the education of the children.  In other words, God will primarily demand the fathers to give account of the education of the children.  This education in the family is crucial for the upbringing of the next generation that will know the Lord and walk in his ways.  In God’s Trinitarian conversation within the Godhead before he shared his plan to Abraham that he would punish Sodom and Gomorah, God speaks indirectly about the family educational leadership role of Abraham:

17 The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”  (Genesis 18:17-19)

God has chosen Abraham that he may provide instruction to his family in order for the entire family to walk in the way of the Lord.  The content of the instruction is explicitly given in the Pentateuch.  The method is hinted in the Proverbs.  In Proverbs 13:24, discipline is the key to the education of the children.  In the Ephesians passage, Paul instructed the fathers to discipline the children.  The word that is translated discipline in Ephesians 6:4 is the word παιδείᾳ.  From this word we get paedagogy or pedagogy in modern writing.  This word is then in the modern education is understood as the act of teaching or educating – pedagogy.  However, the modern meaning does not carry with it the weight of discipline as supposed to be understood biblically.  Modern education tends to omit the disciplinary act from its vocabulary, be it in informal, non-formal, or formal education.

            The Book of Proverbs needs to be consulted in order to understand the biblical understanding of discipline.  Today’s definition of education continuously seeks to throw away anything that is considered to be within the category of punishment.  If one reads Proverbs 13:24, he/she might disagree with it or choose to ignore this truth just because of the use of rod in discipline.  But Proverbs 13:24 is not shy in revealing the truth that sparing the rod means hating the son.  Modern educators would opt for sparing the rod in order to project more peaceful and loving way of discipline.  While nothing is wrong with the non-rod way of discipline, there is a huge mistake when avoiding the rod way of discipline.  Both are important.  Paul’s instruction is important to be heeded that when fathers disciplining the children, they ought not to be driven by the motivation to anger their children.  Proverbs 19:18 points out:

18 Discipline your son, for there is hope;
do not set your heart on putting him to death.

Discipline is important, but in the act of disciplining, one must not desire the death of his/her children.  The biblical understanding of discipline includes with it the use of punishing rod.  Proverbs 23:13-14 shows:

13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod,
you will save his soul from Sheol.

Punishing the children with the rod is a kind of discipline that in many ways necessary.  The modern education, however, will disagree with it.  Their disagreement is based on their view of humans.  Modern education finds its foundation in psychology.  And psychology advocates the innocence of human beings.  Modern education does not see humans to begin with original sin.  The assumption in modern education is that humans start their journey in this world as blank slate, pure and without sin.  Therefore, there is nothing to be “corrected” for there is no sin to begin with.  The main route of modern education is to prevent children from doing evil and direct them to do good.  But, Christian education, which finds its foundation in the Bible, cannot accept the modern education’s assumption of human beings.  As early as Genesis 3 humanity is said to fall into sin.  Since then all humans start their journey on earth in sin.  Nobody is exempt, except Jesus Christ the Son of God.  In order to discipline the children in the way of the Lord, parents sometimes must use the punishing rod.  The tendency of human hearts toward sin is our inheritance from Adam and Eve.  Even without being taught to sin, we instinctively sin.  In order to redirect us toward the right way, the punishing rod must be used.  The drive of sin is a strong force.  Modern education method of discipline is not enough to stop the driving force of our sinful nature.  The rod becomes necessary to stop the children from continuing to practice sinning.  Again, when we discipline our children, both Proverbs 19:18 and Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 6:4 must be carefully followed that we ought not to desire the death of our children and should not provoke our children to anger.

            Now all that is discussed above is external discipline.  It is the kind of discipline that is stimulated by external force.  In this case the parents are the external force guiding and instructing their children to follow the right way of life.  But the next step is the internal discipline.  Internal discipline happens when one does not need external force any longer in order to obey the rules.  In Lawrence Kohlberg’s Moral Development Theory, one must pass stage 4 in order to be free from external discipline.  Stage 4 is when people do not break the law because of external authority policing their movement.  Their abiding with the Law is the result of the fear of the authority that will impose upon them the sanction of the law if the law is not obeyed.  But stage 5 and 6 are a whole new level.  Stages 5 and 6 are when people follow the law because it is the right thing to do.  This is the level that surpasses any need for external force.  Even without external force in place, people would still obey the law.  Confucius is understood to have achieved this level at the age of 70.  At that age he said that he now can do whatever his heart desires without breaking any law.  It means that his will is so in tune with the law so that abiding to it doesn’t require any struggle.  This kind of internal discipline is what is exhibited by Jesus Christ in the purest and most perfect form since his existence on earth.

            When Paul gave the instruction to the fathers to discipline their children in the Lord, he had in mind that the children one day will have the internal discipline.  But, due to the sinful nature everyone carries, everybody is in need of help to walk into the right direction.  The help comes in the form of the biblical discipline.  Sometimes a simple instruction will do.  But often a stronger form of discipline that involves striking with a rod is necessary.  Proverbs 13:24 even speaks of the connection of love and the use of rod for discipline purposes.  When one disciplines the children with the rod, often in the modern mind people think such act of discipline is cruel.  But the Scripture speaks differently of this.  Disciplining with the rod is seen as an act of love by Proverbs 13:24.  In contrast, if one is sparing the rod, such person is said to be hating the son.  Therefore, modern education, with its false understanding of human nature, has misled the world of education to the point of hating the next generation.  Unfortunately when one spares the rod, he/she is considered to be loving by modern education.  This is the exact opposite of what the Bible teaches.  The necessity of the external discipline, which sometimes in the form of a punishing rod, is to guide the children in the right path.  This act of discipline carries with it the hope (Proverbs 19:18) that they will one day embrace internal discipline.  It is the joy of the parents to witness that their children have internal discipline in their hearts.  And so when that day arrives, the parents won’t be afraid to let their children go on an adventure in the world, for they have known that their children won’t abandon the way of the Lord.  That is the greatest reward any parent can ask.

            When the children, and the children after them, and so on and so forth, follow the way of the Lord as the result of faithful education of the parents in the family, then God may bring all of us into what he has promised to us in Christ Jesus.  We ought not to fear disciplining our children for the purpose of keeping them in the way of the Lord.  When we discipline them, they will not die, but rather we will save their lives from hell.  Once they embrace the internal discipline in the Lord Jesus Christ, they will walk faithfully in the path of righteousness and justice.  And this is the promise of God that we all may become his children who will inherit his kingdom, and his kingdom is all about righteousness and justice.

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